Naughty GD – how dare you mention on going ‘technical’ faults; there is no trend there. Just because it happens ‘regular’ like is no cause for alarm. Anyways; the ATSB – ‘trend setters’ are on the job – Hoody assures us that ‘trends will be monitored'. Lovely word – "monitored". Of course, some would say that it was just a way of waiting for something to happen; then screaming ‘Eureka’ or some such fanciful nonsense and claiming “we” monitored the trend, right up to the big bang.
“Big bang?” intones the coroner.
“Yes your honour” says Hood in velvet tones; "we were monitoring right up to the very end; on the case like”.
“Ah”; says his worship – “so when V123 ‘bumped’ (is that the correct technical expression?) and sheared a third off QFU 456 wing, the fuel spill ignited by a passing catering truck, which blew up the fuel tanker, which exploded setting flame to the three near by aircraft; one of which was being fuelled at the time, exploded and set fire to the terminal, which due to shoddy building techniques collapsed and killed hundreds, you were aware of these probabilities?”
“Oh, absolutely M’lud” lisps Hood; "we had data all the way up to the very last moment”. 'Now, delightfully, we have fresh data to work on; and you can rest assured that we have full ministerial support to keep our data base fully loaded”. "We are so very delighted to be of service to the travelling public; I’ve made a new video”. (Gush) “So excited to be sponsored by the MKR producers, we have the minister, bless, to thank for that”.
“Then you have no concern” says his lordship, “that this cannot happen again”.
“Oh! Heavens no Sir” says Hood is his best videoed appearance voice; “No and no again; why our trend monitoring is immaculate: almost complete and world class”. “Why, with a second event, monitored event, we will be able to assist another of our star researchers to obtain a higher degree and: and, a higher pay-grade too". “I can assure you, that with full ministerial support, the Beaker legacy lives on”. (Small bow, exeunt stage left; high five to those waiting to give evidence; lunch next, on the expense account. Who knows – maybe a pretty young reporter to dine on- with).
What a wonderful word is 'monitoring' thinks Hood as he strolls away, seeking a vacant Uber lift (cost consciousness is an ATSB watch word).
“Big bang?” intones the coroner.
“Yes your honour” says Hood in velvet tones; "we were monitoring right up to the very end; on the case like”.
“Ah”; says his worship – “so when V123 ‘bumped’ (is that the correct technical expression?) and sheared a third off QFU 456 wing, the fuel spill ignited by a passing catering truck, which blew up the fuel tanker, which exploded setting flame to the three near by aircraft; one of which was being fuelled at the time, exploded and set fire to the terminal, which due to shoddy building techniques collapsed and killed hundreds, you were aware of these probabilities?”
“Oh, absolutely M’lud” lisps Hood; "we had data all the way up to the very last moment”. 'Now, delightfully, we have fresh data to work on; and you can rest assured that we have full ministerial support to keep our data base fully loaded”. "We are so very delighted to be of service to the travelling public; I’ve made a new video”. (Gush) “So excited to be sponsored by the MKR producers, we have the minister, bless, to thank for that”.
“Then you have no concern” says his lordship, “that this cannot happen again”.
“Oh! Heavens no Sir” says Hood is his best videoed appearance voice; “No and no again; why our trend monitoring is immaculate: almost complete and world class”. “Why, with a second event, monitored event, we will be able to assist another of our star researchers to obtain a higher degree and: and, a higher pay-grade too". “I can assure you, that with full ministerial support, the Beaker legacy lives on”. (Small bow, exeunt stage left; high five to those waiting to give evidence; lunch next, on the expense account. Who knows – maybe a pretty young reporter to dine on- with).
What a wonderful word is 'monitoring' thinks Hood as he strolls away, seeking a vacant Uber lift (cost consciousness is an ATSB watch word).