Jobs for the boys.
It’s all Thorny’s fault, he kicked it off. It was a light hearted sally, fired off during a serious discussion; and, I do mean serious, related to the almost unbelievable embuggerance of one of PAIN’s finest. “Well” drawls Thorny (lampshade slightly askew) “even if they could nail the bastard ‘who-dun-it’, they’d never, not in a million, fire the rotten sod”. The truth of this statement sort of quieted thing’s down for a moment; then. “They could find him another important job though” say’s Thorny, quiet like, (sotto voce). “What, like they did for Libby and Wodger, but they were McConvict protected catamites”; this from the other end of the table.
“Nah” says Thorny; after another quarter pint found it’s way down the tubes, then: “they’ll evaluate his qualifications for the job he holds against the job he aught to have; but it will have to be at executive level”. And so it began; the search for suitable employment opportunities for those lucky few on the IOS pin up board.
Anger Evaluator – Non management. It has come to the attention of upper executive management that there is a small amount of hostility toward the administration. The new position involves meeting and greeting the few disgruntled complainants that actually dare to enter the CASA office facilities. The main focus of this job is to set them straight; plain talking, tell them how bloody marvellous CASA is and how they need to shape up or ship out. Remuneration is modest, however there is a very good medical scheme available through Avmed; and a bonus system, based on results. General facial injuries, such as a black-eye, blood nose or tender jaw are worth 10 points on the bonus scheme; getting sat on your fat arse earns 20 bonus points and a night under observation in hospital is worth a whopping 50 points. This is a job for a people person; login now to apply.
Executive Washroom attendant. Non management. This is an opportunity with great potential for advancement. The ‘Authorities’ executive suffer high levels of stress; usually brought on by having to actually do something and the EW is a place they can go to escape the pressures. The presence of a discreet sycophant is considered essential to perform, without demure, the lowly humble tasks required to ease their burden. In a nutshell, you will be required change your pants before being kicked in the arse – lest you soil their expensive boots. Many of the top layer of executives began their stellar careers in this role. This the job for an ambitious, devious, unscrupulous, get a head at any cost type; login to apply.
Chief pencil sharpener – Management. The ‘Authority’ has a large contingent of dedicated, skilled craftsmen who’s sole employment is keeping the pencils sharp and, time permitting, making long chains out of paperclips. There has been a need identified, through in depth, independent research and consultation for a supervisor to ensure that every pencil meets the sharpness prescription and is not less than the minimum, legally allowed length and that the paperclip supply is properly audited. If you feel you can rise to this challenge, login to apply and join our team making the skies safer for all.
Boot Licker – Executive level. This sought after position provides access to the top levels of executive management. Multi tasking is considered an essential. You may be required to not only lick boots and slobber at the ‘elite’ feet, but kiss ass, toady and provide a lowly, humble presence to enable deflated ego to be quickly and fully restored. Are you capable of rising to this demanding, challenging role? Login now to apply.
The basic skills test for all applicants is being able to actually log-on to our world famous webshite.
Aye; twas a funny enough interlude – probably something to do with the ring of truth and many a true word being spoken in jest. I’ll leave the details up to your imagination; the potted version above are censored, to protect the innocent.
Toot toot. E&OE (tempus fugit).
It’s all Thorny’s fault, he kicked it off. It was a light hearted sally, fired off during a serious discussion; and, I do mean serious, related to the almost unbelievable embuggerance of one of PAIN’s finest. “Well” drawls Thorny (lampshade slightly askew) “even if they could nail the bastard ‘who-dun-it’, they’d never, not in a million, fire the rotten sod”. The truth of this statement sort of quieted thing’s down for a moment; then. “They could find him another important job though” say’s Thorny, quiet like, (sotto voce). “What, like they did for Libby and Wodger, but they were McConvict protected catamites”; this from the other end of the table.
“Nah” says Thorny; after another quarter pint found it’s way down the tubes, then: “they’ll evaluate his qualifications for the job he holds against the job he aught to have; but it will have to be at executive level”. And so it began; the search for suitable employment opportunities for those lucky few on the IOS pin up board.
Anger Evaluator – Non management. It has come to the attention of upper executive management that there is a small amount of hostility toward the administration. The new position involves meeting and greeting the few disgruntled complainants that actually dare to enter the CASA office facilities. The main focus of this job is to set them straight; plain talking, tell them how bloody marvellous CASA is and how they need to shape up or ship out. Remuneration is modest, however there is a very good medical scheme available through Avmed; and a bonus system, based on results. General facial injuries, such as a black-eye, blood nose or tender jaw are worth 10 points on the bonus scheme; getting sat on your fat arse earns 20 bonus points and a night under observation in hospital is worth a whopping 50 points. This is a job for a people person; login now to apply.
Executive Washroom attendant. Non management. This is an opportunity with great potential for advancement. The ‘Authorities’ executive suffer high levels of stress; usually brought on by having to actually do something and the EW is a place they can go to escape the pressures. The presence of a discreet sycophant is considered essential to perform, without demure, the lowly humble tasks required to ease their burden. In a nutshell, you will be required change your pants before being kicked in the arse – lest you soil their expensive boots. Many of the top layer of executives began their stellar careers in this role. This the job for an ambitious, devious, unscrupulous, get a head at any cost type; login to apply.
Chief pencil sharpener – Management. The ‘Authority’ has a large contingent of dedicated, skilled craftsmen who’s sole employment is keeping the pencils sharp and, time permitting, making long chains out of paperclips. There has been a need identified, through in depth, independent research and consultation for a supervisor to ensure that every pencil meets the sharpness prescription and is not less than the minimum, legally allowed length and that the paperclip supply is properly audited. If you feel you can rise to this challenge, login to apply and join our team making the skies safer for all.
Boot Licker – Executive level. This sought after position provides access to the top levels of executive management. Multi tasking is considered an essential. You may be required to not only lick boots and slobber at the ‘elite’ feet, but kiss ass, toady and provide a lowly, humble presence to enable deflated ego to be quickly and fully restored. Are you capable of rising to this demanding, challenging role? Login now to apply.
The basic skills test for all applicants is being able to actually log-on to our world famous webshite.
Aye; twas a funny enough interlude – probably something to do with the ring of truth and many a true word being spoken in jest. I’ll leave the details up to your imagination; the potted version above are censored, to protect the innocent.
Toot toot. E&OE (tempus fugit).